Forces of Nature

My wife and I had a baby in April and since that time, I haven't been camping or hiking or fishing or anything remotely close to participating in an outdoor activity.  It's hard to get out when you have an infant hanging around who needs to eat and be changed and fed and bathed every hour or so. 

It takes effort, and equipment to make an expedition, even to the relatively close Wasatch front, successful.  In part, this means that my bona fides as an outdoor enthusiasts have suffered, and there is a certain amount of shame and embarrassment in that idea. 

I used to be the guy that headed to the mountains every weekend.  Even in the last couple of years, I got out fairly often.  My wife, Raven, and I hiked the Appalachian trail for three consecutive summers from '08 to '10 spending weeks at a time in the outdoors, and this year, diddly squat.

Soon enough, Ezra will be old enough to make going out for a couple of hours at a time worth it.  We might even be able to mount a camping expedition in 2012 and have it be relatively enjoyable, but for now, the prospect of hiking or camping with my son chills my blood. 

It's not a safety issue.  I'm plenty safe for both of us in the outdoors.  I always pack extra food and clothes and I never go too far into unknown areas.  I know how to avoid dangerous animals and plants, and I have a strong set of survival skills. 

What makes a trip into the wilderness unthinkable right now is that my son, Ezra, is like a wild animal.  He has abrupt mood swings.  He eats, sleeps, and poops when and where he wants.  He cries when he doesn't get his way.  He grabs things and puts them in his mouth, and then spits them out again covered in slime.  Going on a hike with him would be like dragging along an honry bobcat.  Worse, because at least a bobcat can take care of itself most of the time. 

There will come a time when Ezra will be very fun to hike and camp with, I have no doubt.  Right now, however, I guess I'll have to be satisfied with having a force of nature tear around my living room.