Harasment Vs. Affair

By now you've seen the headlines that Herman Cain has been accused of conducting a long running extra marital affair.  This story, it seems, has finally killed his campaign, which is fine with me.  The man seemed to be a bit of an idiot in my opinion.  The thing that really galls me, though is that the affair is what did it. 

Herman Cain was accused of far worse than having an affair.  He was accused of sexual harassment, and possibly sexual assault.  Why didn't that kill his campaign?

Possibly, Cain supporters simply took this latest scandal as the straw that broke the camel's back.  Too much intrigue to deal with, or maybe they believed Cain that his first batch of accusers were lying, but didn't believe him this time.  Perhaps his time just ran out.  But I don't think so.

I think we, as Americans, tolerate sexual harassment more readily than we tolerate affairs.  Why this is, I'm not really sure, but it seems true.  We seem to believe accusations of adultery more readily than those of harassment.  We seem to put the blame for adultery on whoever is having the affair, but the blame for harassment on the accuser.  We villainize men who have affairs, but we tend to villainize women who accuse men of harassment.

Perhaps this is because adultery is not legally actionable.  Women who accuse men of having affairs cannot sue them for it, whereas sexual harassment can lead to legal consequences.  Maybe we think, subconsciously, that women are more apt to lie about harassment because they have something to gain by it, a cash settlement, or the chance to get their bosses fired.

Whatever the reasons we make up for downplaying harassment, it doesn't change the fact that sexual harassment is a very serious crime and should be taken seriously.  It's hard to say whether harassment is more destructive than an affair.  It would depend on the affair and the harassment, but it's clear to me that our attitudes about sexual harassment are a symptom of a deep sickness within our culture.  We are willing to put up with abuse, willing to tolerate cruelty and torture, which is what harassment amounts to, and willing to dismiss allegations of such behavior without investigation.  Cain said they were liars and at least some of us simply took him at his word. 

Would we have done the same thing if someone had accused him of tax evasion?  How about child abuse?  Murder?  I think we would have investigated any of those claims much more closely and been slower to dismiss them. 

I believe the fact that so many of us were alright with Cain even after he'd been accused of sexually harassing multiple women, speaks volumes about how prevalent and ingrained sexism still is in our culture.  It is the shameful underbelly of our democracy. 

If you were one of the many who dismissed those claims out of hand, you should ask yourself why, and then let us know.  There's a comments section below, and I'd be very interested to hear your opinion.